The last Sunday morning in May 2020 started with what for me, has become a weekend household tradition. As per usual, after rousing my husband Ross at about 7am, my thoughtful partner ambled downstairs to make us two steaming cups of cappuccino. We then tuned into the Sunday morning tv news shows in an ongoing effort to keep us up to date on current affairs. Often these programs initiate family “social discourse” with which either of us may feel strongly aligned or misaligned with the points of view voiced by various “experts”. As you may have guessed, it is not unusual that occasionally we have differences of opinion. Gotta love marriage!
During this corona virus lockdown, our weekend tradition has taken on even more significance. Many would agree that the current times are something we could never have anticipated in our lifetime. This Sunday’s broadcasts did not fail to underscore that reality. We watched horrific images of the murder of George Floyd and peaceful protests turned violent by hired thugs. We both expressed our concern for our extremely unsettled world. A moment of common ground .
A special guest interviewed on one of this Sunday’s shows used the phrase “continuity of purpose”. Truthfully, I cannot recall the program that I was watching, nor the context in which the phrase was used. But the words piqued my interest. Now anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I rely on Google to confirm any claims and/or to research word meanings or to uncover anything else that requires verification. So I used Google to see if I could discover the meaning of continuity of purpose. This day, my online search left me more than dissatisfied. The definition of continuity was clear. Ditto the meaning for purpose. But the phrase continuity of purpose left me puzzled.
So I decided to interpret the phrase for myself within the context of our overpoweringly distressing times. For me it meant a coalescence of a commitment to action that reaches across entrenched ideological, religious and political lines. The issue of racism is complex and conversations about it can be a difficult. Perhaps one place to start talking is to acknowledge common ground. I looked to two differing religious sayings that might illustrate a call to a mutual understanding of humanity. The Christian Golden Rule “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” and the Buddhist “When you have a choice between being right or being kind- choose being kind” are the two phrases that to me illustrate a common will to act with tolerance.
My reaction to the disturbing video of the killing of George Floyd first turned to the personal. I have two beautiful bi-racial grand nieces who are growing up in the southern US. They and their white single parent mother have experienced first hand the oppressiveness of racial disparity. I asked my niece to tell me about her reality. Here is some of what she said:
“ I have a unique perspective being a white woman in America with mixed race children. I am a privileged white woman and the mother of black children. I have two very different identities. ….. When I am alone I get all the benefits of being white in America. Of course not every person is racist but when I am with my children, the racists are eager to display their hate. The dirty looks and slick remarks are easy to spot after years of mothering black children. I can’t protect my babies from all the hate and hurt that racism will bring to their lives. I can only educate them to protect themselves as best they can. This includes warning them of the prominence of racism in the police department. I have told them not to gather in large crowds with other black kids.” Heartbreaking and unacceptable.
What good could possibly come from all our painful world circumstances? How could these crises create some collective commitment to action? There is no denying that many of us have ideologies that are often at odds with each other. That is true within the family and the within the broader world. However, I am convinced that the racial discrimination before us can in fact bring us together and set us in a path to much needed change. Now is the time for a broad inclusive community coalition and a commitment to tolerance and a willingness and courage to honestly look at our own entrenched ideologies. Now is the moment for unity and targeted positive action.
I have chosen to write this blog and truthfully it has been emotionally challenging. I have read and reread these paragraphs numerous times. I struggled to find the right words to express my feelings and to begin in some concrete way to to take a stand against discrimination. I decided to begin with refusing to be silent. This has gone on far too long.
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